First, you will talk and move through the layers, of how your day was, what emotions you had which are still troubling you, until you reach and identify deep seated emotions associated with the memory of emotional patterns.

Second, you may figure out rationally whether the emotional patterns in your memory are healthy.

Third, by focussing directly on your feelings which are within the emotional pattern and allowing them into your mind with your rational side (meaning being able to talk) (really this is just maintaining sufficient awareness to expose the feelings to the light of your inner values, rather then being completely immersed in an unhealthy emotional pattern), you will feel the unhealthy pattern (empathy) and temporarily free yourself (find compassion) from that feeling so that you are healthy. This will feel like a surge of emotion similar to when someone frightens you. You might imagine that the unhealthy emotional pattern is literally being transformed by a brilliant light. For moments afterwards, you will feel healthy. You've done it, that is OPENING! Remember that feeling in those moments!

Fourth, the unhealthy pattern and memory will return so you will open again and again to reduce the strength of the negative emotional patterns in your memory. Empathy is anguish, compassion is love applied to suffering. The unhealthy patterns will slowly become history instead of your present day personality. By sharing yourself with someone safe in a safe environment repeatedly with this understanding, it will naturally occur. At some point you will open up in this manner on your own.