Day 4 Cleanse

Please release me of all of the inner pain that I cling to throughout the day which holds me down. Let me see what pains me and find the best way to release it. I have so much resentment, pain, and grief towards the world and I don't even know where it is coming from or why I have it. It makes it hard to interact in the world as I am constantly anxious, nervous, unhappy, agitated, or angry. I hold judgments about myself and others based on conditions: if they or I do not abide by certain conditions then I do not allow myself to love. Allow me to rid myself of these judgments of self and others so that I may love unconditionally.
Release the hatred I feel toward previous lovers who have broken my heart and allow me to go into the world open, refreshed, and willing to love again. Allow me to forgive those who have physically bullied and attacked me and ask that they seek peace for themselves. Let me forgive myself for abuses I have committed towards friends, family members, and animals, and allow my true inner self to shine through in dealing with these individuals from here on.
Higher self I ask you to cleanse my mind and consciousness of all of these less than loving thoughts. Free me of judgment. Squash my resentments so that I may feel true freedom. Allow my thoughts to be a free forming flow of peaceful, non judgmental narratives.

Outer goal: Today I will write a letter to my brother so that we may form a bond again and break the silence and resentment between us. I will forgive myself for holding a grudge.

Inner goal: Today I will forgive myself if my mind goes astray. I will not let other people have power over my emotions by becoming obsessed with certain negative thoughts about people I don't even know. I will tell myself that this is a process and I am making good headway.

Forgiveness is my ticket to freedom.

Day 3 Cleanse

Outer goal: Today I will do research online relating to my business. I will network with others and gain confidence that my endeavor is right for me. Today I will release one of the jobs that is holding me down and keeping me from gaining confidence in my abilities.

Inner goal: I will exercise today. I will go outside to an event that is spiritually uplifting that can make me smile and feel life force. I will think of my accomplishments and the people that I attract.

Day 2 Cleanse

I saw a boy that was put into positions he didn't ask to be put in but survived and made the most out of the situations in the most productive, positive way. He was always intelligent and other people admired his calm, quiet perseverance. He wasn't given much guidance in life but turned out to be a worthy individual.

I am still holding on to negative beliefs about others and myself. These beliefs are magnified and almost always based on false realities. At times I still believe that I am unworthy or unable to reach my goals. I allow my past and previous traumatic experiences to bring me down in the present moment and prevent me from being truly happy and content. For instance, I am letting the isolation and depression I felt in high school transfer into my adult life and wrap itself around me so that I am suffocated. I allow hateful, disturbing thoughts to penetrate my mentality and choose to accept them as fact instead of confronting them and defeating them.

Outer goal: Today I will research and apply for jobs, or look into starting my own business opportunity.

Inner goal: Today I will think of the beautiful, smart, successful person that I am and how I got here mostly by my own skills.

Day 1 Cleanse

In my outer world, I can see that I really want/ need a new job. I desire a job that allows me to make at least $45,000 per year with full health benefits. I want to work in a comfortable atmosphere with fun people my age. I wish to work 40 hours a week and not have to work overtime. This job will allow me to save money in order to start up my own business or to buy equipment for producing videos so that I can build up my skills and eventually land a job with a video production studio.

Communicating with my inner self I realize that there is a large chunk of my being that needs work. My aura is dirty and I am not attracting the people that I want and need into my life. To obtain happiness and confidence, I need to be more carefree in my life, to not take everything so seriously, to lighten up, to be more outgoing and engaging with people, to built stronger bonds with those I already know, and to forgive.

When I achieve this goal I will be less worrisome and I will embrace the day ahead instead of being bored or fearful of it. My positive radiating aura will attract like beautiful, confident people. I will have the confidence to land the jobs that I really want- high paying, powerful positions. I will attract a long lasting intimate relationship that will further my soul's evolution. My friends and family will respond to me in a more positive manner. I will have more meaningful and more frequent talks with them, particularly my family. I will have more money to help those around me in need who are struggling.

I desire to feel confidence this year. By feeling confident, I will fulfill all of the desires listed above. It will get me into the vortex and I will be a more creative producer. I will have more time for leisure activities I enjoy such as traveling, gardening, reading, yoga, kung fu, and more. My debts will be paid down and I will not be chased by worry. People around me will be inspired by my abilities in myself and will allow them to see the possibilities inside of them, in turn creating a better world for everybody. I will have better communication with my spirit guides and with God. My spirituality will influence my friends and family to be more spiritual and fear death less. It will also encourage those who have addiction problems to give up as they see the change inside of me and it is something that they want for themselves. I will be able to buy the home I want with a sunny garden, a bedroom, an office, and a view of the beach.

Outer Goal: Today I will apply for at least one job opportunity that I know I am qualified to have a good chance of being hired.
Inner Goal: Today I will think of a time when I felt confident and I will concentrate on what I am confident at doing. I will give myself encouragement and prove to myself how much I admire me.

Winter

This winter is sunny. I enjoy the chill across my face as I coast my bike down Clay street on the way home.
Bring me a job that I will have so much fun at I won't even feel like I'm working. Give me an abundance of wealth from this new job. Allow me to meet new exciting intelligent creative people and allow me to grow and prosper. The winter season means an end to a previous life. Now that the chill has set the buds of a beautiful new growth are firmly planted. The seed deep within is lightening and the stone is softening.

Gratitude

10. Beautiful weather
9. Developing the body I've always wanted
8. Sober for 11 months
7. Having fun in sobriety
6. Sex appeal
5. Abraham Hicks motivational talks
4. My drive and motivation to never give up
3. Blanchie and Sophia
2. Seeing my family last weekend
1. Taking care of myself

Gratitude

10. A great therapist
9. My friend Jenn
8. Acupuncture
7. DBSA meetings
6. God's solace in times of need
5. An attentive sponsor
4. My new healthy lifestyle regimen
3. Construction next door almost done
2. Riding my bike through the city
1. My compassion for humanity

Gratitude

10. AA Meeting 4 blocks away
9. Kittens
8. Native American ancestry
7. Kung Fu
6. Abraham Hicks & Power of Intention
5. Living in Bay Area, media companies abound to work with
4. Presidio forest in my back yard
3. The lake
2. My commitment to my happiness and well being
1. Embracing life

My efforts are sustaining my health. I am DONE with fear. I am DONE with depression. I don't have the patience for it. I don't have the time for it. I don't have the room for it in my life. My world is filled with good energy. I have a brand new 1 bedroom apartment. I have two new kittens that keep me company and bring joy to my being. I am a good, funny, energetic, responsible, cosmopolitan person. I have way too much going for me to let the exhaustion of depression and anxiety take over my life.
I REBUKE YOU, DEPRESSION!
I REBUKE YOU, ANXIETY!
I REBUKE YOU, FEAR!
In the name of love and truth, I am living the life of contentment and gratitude. Thank you for all of the beautiful gifts in my life, I really am blessed.

Hello, Me. Meet the Real Me.

May God allow me to push aside my curtain of fibs, alibis, rationalizations, justification, distortions, and downright lies and let in the light on the real truths about myself. May I meet the person I really am and take comfort in the person I can become.

Dear God
Teach me to quiet my mind.
Stop my thoughts from racing from one thing to another.
Stop me from the obsessive thinking about the lives of others.
Help me rest and quiet my mind.
Help me let go of trying to control the lives of others.
Free my mind to be at rest.
This I pray.

I am a vessel of love and peace.
I breathe in peace
and I exhale confidence.
I get knocked down but I always come back
stronger than ever, ready to rise up for the next challenge.
I have proven to be somebody who is reliable, responsible, and trustworthy.
The life I have created proves that I am on the right path to freedom
For happiness is freedom.
And I release back to God all feelings and thoughts that are less than loving.

God, allow me to bring peace to the world.
Restore my pleasant thoughts and wipe out the insanity
so that I may bring serenity and love to those around me.
Allow me to show my heart to the outside world.
Restore my happiness that is my birthright.
Show me the power of meditation and inner bliss
even when I am working, finding myself in stress, or sorrow.
Restore my subconscious to one of a higher consciousness
of confidence, hope, strength, and serenity.

Could it be that we are not recognizing the goodness, the god-within all of creation? When we do not recognize this goodness the dark side of our nature begins to find excuses for what is happening in our life. It is then that we begin to feel 'other than happiness' feelings. Happiness of course is our birthright.

THANK YOU

Thank you God for allowing me to see the light in myself! I can pull myself out of any predicament I get myself into if I accept your love and healing power within. You have turned my life around and I want to thank you for being there for me when I need you most, which is always. Amen!

This fear has no power over me. I am one with the Divine. With the Divine, all things are possible.

Show me the path to success.
For so many years I have worked up to this moment
where I stand on the mountain of possibility.
I can either tumble down the mountain and be quite uncomfortable for the rest of my life
or I can ski down, maneuvering gracefully between the obstacles that come into my path, the exhilarating rush of the journey leading me to my happiness and purpose.
God give me the strength to survive each day with dignity and serenity.
I love you and thank you for each beautiful day.

Deep, restful sleep.
Awakening to the realization that it is a new, beautiful day, full of opportunities for me to meet new, exciting, friendly people, explore new areas of my hometown, knowing that I am being productive and contributing to my well being.
I shall do God's will every day by living in a peaceful, thoughtful, respectful, and humorous manner.
Shall no matter big or small be made too serious and too restless for me to handle.
I shall have a solid grip on my life from this day forward and exert nothing but confidence.
Amen.

God grant me the serenity on this day.
Be one with me and allow me to immerse myself in your power and love
whenever my mind and ego gets in the way of my enjoying life and the small details around me.
Open the door to my heart and fill me with love, compassion, acceptance, and gratefulness.
Allow me to see the power of now, to be mindful of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Remind myself to breathe deeply when I am feeling overwhelmed, and to remember that the world is as nervous about me as I am about the world, if I make it so.
As Monty Python says, "Always look on the bright side of life."
Amen.

God please give me a sign
How do I find my way back? I am so lost on a weed strewn path of self will and inflated ego. This puts me in fear of the world and myself.
Help guide me back to you, your power, and your infinite love.
Show me the way and I'll follow.
Amen.

The waves crash against the stone stepped edifice in Aquatic Park. This salt water is a reminder of the determination of peaceful progression- for the water will always win in the battle against the stone cold barriers holding back the natural flow of being.

Abundance

I live in abundance.
Money comes to me so easily. I am able to take care of my needs and wants.
Love comes in abundance. People around me love me deeply.
My relationships are beneficial to myself and to my partners.
I have an abundance of self respect.
There is abundant beauty all around me.
My life is filled with abundant joy.
My garden provides abundant food.
I am happy in life and grateful for each moment.

--

Just For Today
I will exercise my soul in three ways:
I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out;
if anybody knows of it, it will not count.
I will do at least two things I don't want to do- just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt;
they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

THANK YOU

GOD, I would like to take the time to THANK YOU
for my prosperous job.
for my great warm friends.
for a family that cares and wants me to succeed.
for my success in everything that I have done.
I am truly a wealthy person with love surrounding me in all directions.
I would also like to thank you for allowing me to thank myself
and seek forgiveness once and for all.

Just For Today

I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

This fear has no power over me. With the Divine all things are possible. I am one with the Divine.

Like Jesus, and Liza, and Judy, I'm making a comeback!

Just For Today

I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Third Step Prayer

God, I offer myself to you
To build with me and do with me as you will
Relieve me of the bondage of self so that I may better do your will
Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of your power, your love, and your way of life
May I do your will always.

I ask for the power of the universe to heal me.
To take away my insane thoughts.
To be able to observe the beauty and intimate details that surround me each and every moment.
I yearn to be a bigger part of my community.
There is so much beauty and so much love to give and receive.
I am embraced by love and friendship every day.
I ask the universe to help quash my ego so that I may better do the work and will of God.
Guide me to the truth and allow me to realize my full potential as a creator.
Amen.

Ego, step aside

God, on this beautiful day
I ask you to allow me to put my ego aside
So that I may perform your will and bring peace of mind to the world around me.
Let this be a day of learning and of understanding my place in life and where I need to go from here.
Give me the strength to enjoy life's little pleasures and the ability to set little inconveniences or minor disruptions back into the empty space where they belong.
They do not belong in my energy field.
I deserve happiness for happiness's sake.
I deserve love for love's sake.
I deserve peace for peace's sake.
I deserve serenity for serenity's sake.
I deserve to live for God's sake.

Bring It All Back

God, I ask of you to grant me the knowledge to live and abide by your will.
I could not keep living on the path I was on before I had the revelation
That to live, I had to die.
My death was more of a metamorphosis than an extinction.
I am slowly rising out of the cocoon, the coffin of suffering and self inflicted agony.
I see the light. I was guided by you into the rooms and you have placed individuals into my life that I would never dream of even knowing before I awoke.
Thank you for this beautiful gift. Thank you for allowing me to see the peace and serenity in myself.
I am still in a phase of musical chairs, rushing around and around without knowing exactly when to stop or where to stake my claim. But I know that I am being guided.
I hear almost every day, "You are on the right path."
And I sincerely believe it, because I never used to hear that before.
I truly am on the right path. For this next short phase of my life, please allow me the peace and tranquility of thought so that I may do your will and grant love to those around me. I seek creativity and absence of thought.
I trust that you will show me how. Please guide me how to read the signs. I miss them so often. I will keep my eyes open.
79 days.

God Grant Me The Serenity

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.