My new apartment

This is the place for me.

Please bring this apartment to me, and let it be everything I wish it to be.

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/apa/2638518811.html

Steve Jobs, the legend

Mr. Jobs, or shall I call you, Steve, since I feel like you have been a close friend through most of my life.

I remember waking up early with anticipation as a teenager to watch the Apple presentations at the MacWorld expos twice a year. Each presentation was a performance of creative genius and passion. The products that Apple creates have soul, vitality, and practicality.

The world needs more passionate geniuses.

I will miss you and forever remember you!

Maui Day 6

My snorkeling trip today was canceled due to the storm. This gives me something to look forward to on my next trip. I made use of my time by getting an acupressure massage at the Temple of Peace and all I can say is OWWWWWWW! and ahhhhhhh!

My last full day on the island has been very contemplative. I can't believe how much I have grown, how much I have learned about myself, how much I've found in myself, and who and what I am really made of. I am leaving with a sense of melancholy because I really fell in love with this place- that is the conundrum of the traveling soul. I will bring back home with me the memories, stories, and pictures of my first solitary vacation, and what a perfect place to experience it than MAUI!

MAUI, I <3 U

Maui Day 5

I woke up fairly early this morning to head to Maui Cyclery in Paia for my excursion along the Road To Hana. I rented a really cool Scott road bike and purchased a practical sporting backpack for only $35. I started off on my trek through the cloudy, breezy stretch of oceanside road when, after 10 miles, my bike tire flattened in a rainy part. Very frustrated and unable to recharge my spare tire due to a malfunction (either operator or mechanical) in the CO2 canister, I walked my bike, flat tire and all, back home along the Hana Highway. About 2 miles into my walk an awesome woman named Kim picked me up and gave me a ride back to the bike rental shop. We are kindred spirits in some form and I will always remember her. Just one of my many amazing experiences in this great island.

After returning the bike I drove back home and decided to take the Haiku Rd. exit. I stumbled upon the "Temple of Peace," a little gift store and all around spiritual healing center- perfect! I had some reiki healing done and learned a lot about myself spiritually- what I'm made of, what my path is, and how to maintain my inner peace and truth.

Next I headed to the Sacred Garden, a beautiful hidden gem in Haiku located 4 miles away from the Temple of Peace. It was an old nursery turned into a non profit garden full of native plants, succulents, koi ponds, labyrinths, buddhist shrines, and a rock garden. I learned that there are full moon labyrinth walks every month, so next time I come to Maui I will have to plan in advance for the full moon!

Maui Day 4

This morning I walked up to my favorite treehouse lookout spot, and lo and behold, what do I see but the gorgeous next door neighbor sitting cross legged naked on his lawn, sunbathing. I think he saw me because he then put his clothes on and took off- I told him he didn't have to leave so soon :) After reading my book and doing some of my own nude sunbathing, I came back to the bamboo hut and bathed, ready for the spirits to guide me again.

Today I decided to go swimming on the west side of the island. I made it to some small beaches off the highway south of Lahaina. The water was so clear that I could see all of the coral on the shallow ocean floor, which was a good thing, because it started to cut me as I was swimming. I decided to drive to Kihei shortly after that and happened upon a very tranquil yellow sand beach which was a little bit windy but still made for an enjoyable, healing swim. After my ocean time I drove down Kihei Rd., looking for a sushi place. I found one with a line wrapped around the block, so I decided to program the GPS to find another one on the way. I came across a small local dive type place in Kahului called "Da Sushi Bar." There I had Hawaiian Poke and some rolls. I also bought a pound of Poi for $5 that I can eat back at home with my raw tuna.

I will need to go to bed somewhat earlier tonight, as tomorrow is going to be a big adventure. I can't wait! :)

Maui Days 1, 2, 3

Made it to Maui. This is the ultimate vacation destination! I am already planning my next trip.

From here I consider "Day 1" the first full day of my time spent on this magical island. I arrived on Wednesday at 4:00 PM local time, grabbed my rental car, and drove to my bamboo cottage. My first reaction to Hawaii was "Damn, it's humid here! I don't think I can get used to this." After an hour, I was won over, and now I don't think I can go back to the dry California air. Anyway, the drive along the way allowed me to really seep in the bounty of sensual pleasures all around me- the teal blue color of the ocean, the acres of sugar cane on the south side of the "highway," the unique Hawaiian architecture, the exotic looking birds and mammals scurrying about on the dirt roads, and the breathtaking flora that abounds the Haiku area where I am staying. The pinks and violets and bright reds of the flowers and plants are everything I thought the native habitat would be- and more. The property I am staying at is a real tropical Eden- passion fruits, guava, papaya, oranges, and star fruits growing in all directions and ripe for the picking, as they say. This place is a true paradise in the essence of the word. The host family is also a "sophisticated hippie" type of people- people of the earth. Beautiful!

Day 1

Thursday

The jet lag is allowing me to wake up very early, even before the sun rises here. I woke up, got in the car, and browsed the GPS for Hawaiian attractions. I decided to drive to Halekula volcano and the trip up the mountain was well worth it. I could see miles of the coast line and Maui cascades looking north from the 8,000 ft. summit. On the way back, I stopped at a local market and purchased some Hawaiian jams as gifts for friends and family. I kept one for myself, a mango jam, which I spread on some local made banana bread, and it is a tropical delicacy! On the way back I stopped at Mana Foods in Paia to pick up groceries for my stay here. You can't go wrong with a local store that stocks only organic produce and free range meats.

Day 2

Friday

This day has been the anchor of my trip so far. I woke up at 4:00 am local time to head to Halekula and catch the sunrise. I arrived just in time to witness one of the most moving experiences I have ever seen. I am so grateful for this.

After the sunrise I drove to a Lahaina beach to meet with an energy healer. She was everything I expected her to be, which is a good thing, and, all I can say is, upon seeing her, my energy was quite depleted, but after our session, I had energy to do everything I mention after this and did not feel one bit tired!

After my healing session I drove into Lahaina and let the spirits guide me. I came across a beach gear shop that sells Hawaiian ice. I bought a coconut/ mango/ lemon lime with cream topping and it was dee-lish! I bought a few gifts and a pair of surfing/ running shorts. I spoke with the guy at the counter for a while and mentioned I wanted to take surf lessons, so he recommended a place nearby called Goofy Foot.

My surfing lesson was well worth the $60. I was grouped with some very nice people from all across the world. The water was the temperature of tepid bath water and I felt right at home in it. I picked up the techniques almost instantly and, because of my abilities of balancing, was a natural surfer. I am very excited to get back home and start surfing on my new board!

After the surf lesson I decided to drive up the coast line around the north and west side. What a great idea to "take the long way home." I encountered beautiful undeveloped cliffs, fresh fruit and banana bread stands, and the Maui blowhole, something that I did not expect to be so cool. As the water shot up out of the ocean, it created a rainbow hologram in the mist. WOW! The road soon after that turned into a one lane very narrow and treacherous path only for the brave at heart (so obviously I proceeded). I came across a cute little native town with a very welcoming but very assertive Hawaiian salesmen who stopped in front of my car to sell dried fruit. I was in the mood for Mango so handed him $5 for a small bag. A few yards up the road I came across a bright green stand with a woman selling banana bread. It was the most delicious and moist I have ever had and I'm glad I bought two loaves! The remaining trip was meditative, healing, and peaceful. I came across a sculpture garden with large artwork spread across a landscaped area overlooking the Pacific. Walking up a less familiar type of path I encountered faces carved into driftwood, a one of a kind island adventure.

Day 3

Saturday

Today was my day of rest. I woke up and it was still dark out, so I laid back down and woke up again a few hours later. I hiked up to the treehouse lookout on the property that I am staying at and brought my book, "The 12th Planet," with me to welcome in the purifying high vibrational energy of the Haiku jungle. I watched a movie, read some more, and rested in the hammock. At night time I drove up to Haleakula again (my third journey so far) to star gaze. I made it all the way up to the summit and admired the pitch blackness of the sky. The stars were so illuminated and they appeared to spin in a vortex motion as I stared up at them. I caught a shooting star on my drive down the mountain.

First, you will talk and move through the layers, of how your day was, what emotions you had which are still troubling you, until you reach and identify deep seated emotions associated with the memory of emotional patterns.

Second, you may figure out rationally whether the emotional patterns in your memory are healthy.

Third, by focussing directly on your feelings which are within the emotional pattern and allowing them into your mind with your rational side (meaning being able to talk) (really this is just maintaining sufficient awareness to expose the feelings to the light of your inner values, rather then being completely immersed in an unhealthy emotional pattern), you will feel the unhealthy pattern (empathy) and temporarily free yourself (find compassion) from that feeling so that you are healthy. This will feel like a surge of emotion similar to when someone frightens you. You might imagine that the unhealthy emotional pattern is literally being transformed by a brilliant light. For moments afterwards, you will feel healthy. You've done it, that is OPENING! Remember that feeling in those moments!

Fourth, the unhealthy pattern and memory will return so you will open again and again to reduce the strength of the negative emotional patterns in your memory. Empathy is anguish, compassion is love applied to suffering. The unhealthy patterns will slowly become history instead of your present day personality. By sharing yourself with someone safe in a safe environment repeatedly with this understanding, it will naturally occur. At some point you will open up in this manner on your own.

It's All Coming Together

My life is working out perfectly. Thank you universe for funneling down the glorious gifts of your womb. I am experiencing peace, hope, and prosperity, and I am forever grateful.

Day 10 Cleanse

I find myself judging people who are wealthy and successful. I have narratives in my head that they think they are better than me- that they are spoiled- that they do not value me as an individual. These are insecurities I have about my own abilities and my need for money and success to validate myself. This holds me back because it pushes me away from the people that I would need to work with to become successful.
I also judge people who are overweight- I look down on them, I tell myself that they are lazy, that they are bringing down society, that they are undesirable, and this is a judgment I have about myself and my own body image issues. This holds me back because I have some friends who are overweight and I find myself judging the people I love which gives me guilt.
I judge people who do not have a lot of money and are "working class." I also tell myself that they are lazy, inferior, uneducated, less civilized, less evolved, and less worthy. This upsets me because it makes it hard for me to interact with an open heart to these types of people who are generally very open and friendly.
I judge people of different races because racism is in my roots. I look down on black people the most and view them as inferior as intelligence, humanity, and decency. This creates inner turmoil within myself because my higher self knows that judging based on skin color is a superficial reason to not like somebody and is also very ignorant and primitive. It polarizes me from interacting fluently with the world and it creates a lot of deep, disturbing fear.

Outer goal: I will ask for divine assistance in my interactions with people who are of higher status.

Inner goal: If I can let go of my need to be right about the above judgments I will feel more confidence in myself to be able to interact with an open heart with the world.

Day 9 Cleanse

Higher self, I come to you with questions. For so long, I have not understood what keeps me down sometimes, what invokes fear and anxiety in me, and what prevents me from becoming the person I strive to be. I gave up drinking and I think that really helped me, but there is still something blocking me when I awake.
Higher self, help guide me and show me what I need to do in order to become a happier, more fulfilled person. I will be attentive to the answers and I will try to quiet my mind when I am distracted so that I can really listen. I know that if I really pay attention and "let go" of what I am holding on to that is keeping me down I gain a universal knowledge and understanding.
Higher self, I want to be your servant in this life and I accept full responsibility.

Outer goal: Being on time to my appointments, keeping my appointments, and maintaining a full time work schedule will help me to achieve this goal.

Inner goal: If I work and pay more attention to the exercises in the Feeling Good book, I can gain more access to this goal.

Day 8 Cleanse

Today I will throw out all the old clothes in my closet that I do not wear, including old night shirts, button up shirts, and the brown corduroys. I will throw out the old food in my refrigerator that is no longer needed.

Outer goal: I will liberate myself from inaction so that I can build my life back up.

Inner goal: To gain self confidence I will not eat past 10:00 and I will only eat "junk" food 1x- 2x per week.

Day 7 Cleanse

I fear that certain emotions are "bad." When I am feeling guilty I sometimes dwell on it. When I try to rid myself of emotions they tend to cling to me and make me upset and angry. When I accept these emotions as a natural way of getting over my obstacles they tend to flow in and out of me.

Outer goal: Today I will do all the work I scheduled myself to do. I will not be late to any of my appointments unless I have an emergency. I will work as much as I can handle so that I can begin to take control of my life by paying off debts and living more comfortably.

Inner goal: Today I will watch a movie or a clip again gaining confidence in yourself.

Day 6 Cleanse

When an emotion comes up that makes me uncomfortable I start to worry and fear that this emotion will take over my life and I won't be able to be happy because of it. I fear that I will not be able to reach my goals of success. These fears are compounded and I begin to worry about my future and it makes living in the present moment unbearable.

Outer goal: Today I will do my job and if an emotion comes up that I do not like as I am doing it, I will accept it and tell myself I love myself and that it will pass.

Inner goal: Today I will get all the work done that I needed to do and I will not let laziness or fear of worry take me over. I will accomplish my work with the mindset that I am doing this for the betterment of my life and that I am extremely competent at what I do.

Day 5 Cleanse

Hello Body. I want to tell you that I am sorry for how I have disrespected you in the past. You were and always will be beautiful and divine. You are a gift from God that shouldn't be taken advantage of or taken for granted. I am sorry that I overfed you junk food when my emotions were depressed. I am sorry that I went on alcohol binges instead of exercising to deal with my stress. I am sorry that I constantly abused marijuana and turned you into a lethargic lump. You have always been there for me, healthy and strong, and I am so very grateful for such a wonderful body.

Outer goal: For the next 16 days I will give up my thoughts/ beliefs that my body is less than attractive. I will look at my body as a work of art and something to be desired.

Inner goal: Today I will work out at the park to boost my confidence in my body.